Friday, January 16, 2009

Hatred

"Darkness cannot fight darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot fight hate; only love can do that." Martin Luther King, Jr



You know that tingly feeling of disgust and nausea when you see something really really sad. I've been feeling like that all week about Gaza. I spent a week in Israel last August, in the most privileged situation ever. Put up in the Carlton right on the beach, surfing in the Mediterranean. I feel guilty trying to explain my situation but lets say that these "bougie" vacations are not in the Gil taste, we were taken by very close friends to attend a bar mitzvah. Part of it was a tour, I've never felt so infiltrated in my life by national pride. Our Tour guide obviously was led by a very astute historical MIHAL, she didn't refrain from adding Israel's opinions of everything though constantly referring to 1948. " After Israel became a state" " When the Jews finally got their homeland" "After a long fight for our home" "When Israel was recognized as a state" legit that was every other statement she made, or anybody who tried to give us information there. I was depressed, we passed a terrorist detaining center, the west bank wall, very little was said i couldn't even snap a picture. I really wasn't feeling the vibe there and honestly the trip upsetting in a lot of ways. I have never had to spend so much time around right wing politics in my life and i began to feel sick, only to be cured by the fluffiest bagels and unbelievable shoreline complimentary breakfast. Anyway the synopsis of the trip you can dig from this one story.





While in the Jerusalem market, Susie from our trip advises me to buy a Jordan scarf and not a Palestinian one. I shot her a cold look and ignored her for the remainder of the day. So i got one of those hip Arab scarfs, except this one is from the land of the oppressed I'm thinking this is real man, i can wear this, not some stupid urban outfitters copy ( ironically Urban Outfitters is openly Zionist BOYCOTT). At the end of the day i find myself at the wailing wall, with a plead for revolution in my right hand. In my left i held my Palestinian scarf, intended to hide my shoulders in 98 degree weather. We go through intensive security and I'm handed another scarf meant for my legs. What is this winter in Siberia?, crazy people. Then we enter this massive courtyard type thing, with a large barrier between men and women. I'm thinking whatever let me get rid of this note to the Jewish god, i might as well, revolutions don't discriminate. So a few of us start to enter the wall's prayer section. I suddenly feel really hot, and uncomfortable, like giving an symposium in front of mad heads with no clue as to what your talking about that will determine if you pass high school or not. My hearts beating really fast, and my skin is real tight. I feel like I committed a hate crime and all the hate weighted me. I was trying to figure out what happened, as i took a glance around i recognized the source. There were likely a hundred orthodox women stabbing me with their eyes. They're energy actually was so focused on me and the people i was with i could feel it on my skin. These two girls are performing the exorcism of Emily rose on my left. Crying and shaking, and whispering things to themselves. These people had projected all of their negative feelings right into me. As I'm dropping my note, and old women calls me over.
" Do you speak Hebrew or English" i should have made deaf signals, right then i defensively said
" English."
" That is a disrespect for Israel, you shouldn't wear that," 20 other women turned their attention to me, i must have had at least all the people who had their eyes open, who weren't shaking and crying looking at me.
I dipped with my Palestinian scarf around my shoulders, never have i been so out of place in my life. Radical now that i think about it, entering the purest Zionist monument in all of Israel with a Palestine scarf. Now all i can think about is the wailing wall and the west bank barrier, i am sick thinking about gaza. True story. Nice looking males may i add. If anything i stand by these kinds of jews to represent israel, http://orthodoxanarchist.com

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